


Best Freinds Forever

by kuonji



Series: Best Freinds Forever [1]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Children, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-30
Updated: 2016-07-31
Packaged: 2018-07-22 17:28:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7447846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuonji/pseuds/kuonji
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rodney is the pouty one.  John wants to be his 'freind'.  Ronon crashes the party.  And Teyla is The Girl.  SGA-1 as pre-school age children.  What kind of antics will they get up to?</p><p>Note: "Freinds" is not a typo.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Wrecked!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Little Rodney is building the most beautiful castle ever, with delicate turrets and perfectly cantilevered balconies. But then...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Orig. Posted 2007.02.09
> 
> Alternative Links:  
> <http://kuonji14.livejournal.com/5599.html>

"Ow!"

Rodney hunched forward, retrieving the wood block he had dropped and replacing it in its perfect position. The ball of paper hadn't hurt him. When his answering glares the first two times had had no effect, he simply ignored the further sallies. Reacting to bullies just made it worse. He was building a grand structure to be remembered. He didn't have time to be distracted.

The next incoming projectile was sharp, and when it poked itself into Rodney's side, he stumbled sideways in reaction. One foot knocked out one of the key foundation blocks, and Rodney watched in horror as the work of the last half an hour crumbled down around him with an unending, roaring avalanche of terrifying proportions.

Once it was finally over, he lowered his arms, raised for protection, and stared around him at the pool of wood blocks now surrounding his legs. All that remained of his beautiful castle.

He burst out crying.

In seconds, large hands were running over his head, patting down his arms and legs. "Where does it hurt, Rodney?" He ignored the question, turning instinctively into the circle of grown-up protection to sob his frustration and ill temper out into a sympathetic audience. The hands on him stuttered, then shifted to pet and soothe.

When he felt better, he stood back and started to wipe his nose with one hand. A tissue intercepted him, however, and he obligingly used the replacement. "He wrecked it!" he accused, when he was done.

"Who?"

Rodney whirled around and pointed furiously at the skinny, tousle-haired boy across the room. The boy was staring back at him, open-mouthed. "He was throwing things at me!" Rodney accused. "He wrecked my _castle_!" He felt the tears starting to come again. "It's all gone now!" he wailed. "I had it up to _here_ " -- he gestured a foot above his head, only a slight exaggeration -- "and now it's all _gone_!"

"There, there. I'm sure you can build an even better one."

"I can't! That was the best castle I ever built!" Rodney pouted hugely, crossing his arms. He shouldn't have to rebuild his castle. Already, he was remembering the delicate turrets and the perfectly cantilevered balconies. He couldn't reproduce that. He wouldn't.

The grown-up sighed. "How about if someone else helps you?"

"NO!" Rodney screeched, incensed that the grown-up would even suggest such a thing. "All they do is mess things up!" He sat down on the ground with a thump, fully prepared to stew in his tantrum as long as he was allowed to.

He caught sight of the balls of paper scattered around the rubble of his castle. He clambered to his feet in a furious rage and stomped each one flat with his feet. "I hate him! I hate him! I _hate_ him!" he screamed.

"I'm sorry."

Rodney, still panting from his exertion and his temper both, looked up to see the boy from the other side of the room, not three feet away from him.

"Your fort was really cool."

Rodney scowled. His _gorgeous castle_ hadn't been 'cool', and it hadn't been a 'fort'. But he was somewhat mollified by the apologetic sincerity of the boy's face.

"Here." The boy bent down, sifting through the detritus of wood blocks there. He picked up a folded paper airplane. It was what had poked Rodney, the last thing that had caused the horrible accident.

The boy flattened it out with meticulous fingers, then shoved it at Rodney. Rodney took it huffily. He looked.

"BE MY FREIND" was printed in careful, capital letters across the middle, amid the wrinkles.

The boy looked away, then back. "Um," he said. "Sorry about your fort. Really." He turned around and ran back to his side of the room.

Rodney stared after him, clutching the piece of paper.

"There now, lad. You don't really hate him do you?"

Rodney climbed into the grown-up's lap. "He wanted to be my friend," Rodney confided in him.

"Aye, that he did. What are you going to do about it, then?"

Rodney frowned at the piece of paper. He re-read the simple sentence there.

"He spelled 'friend' wrong," he pointed out, petulant. He thought if someone wanted to be his friend, they should have at least spelled the invitation correctly.

"He did, didn't he? Why don't you go over there and tell him so?" the grown-up suggested.

Rodney looked up at the grown-up. He thought for a moment. Then he stood up and lifted his chin. "I will," he said.

  
END Part 1.


	2. Wrecked!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rodney and John make a new 'freind', one who is... tall. With funny hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Orig. Posted 2007.02.10
> 
> Alternative Links:  
> <http://kuonji14.livejournal.com/5868.html>

They were trying to rebuild their fort -- castle -- with Rodney directing where every piece should go. Rodney was funny. John liked him. Whenever John put a block somewhere that Rodney didn't like, his face scrunched up until John moved it to where it was supposed to go.

Behind Rodney's back, John put the blocks in the places that he knew were better.

"It's taller than it was before," Rodney said. They stepped back to look at the completed castle. John grinned.

"That's because I changed some pieces," he said, forgetting that he hadn't been going to tell Rodney.

"Really?" Rodney seemed to think about that. Then he shrugged. "Okay. I guess you aren't stupid, after all."

John pouted. That hadn't sounded very nice. But. It hadn't sounded really mean either.

John was confused.

Rodney was still talking. He wanted to guard the castle. They could take shifts, he was saying. One person could sleep and one person could guard.

"But how can we play together if one of us is asleep all the time," John pointed out.

"Oh." Rodney's eyes went very wide. "I didn't think of that."

"YAAAAAAAAWWWWWWRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!"

Suddenly, someone ran between the two of them and jumped right into the side of the castle. It fell down with a clatter like thunder. John stared, boggled by the flying bricks.

It was pretty cool, actually.

The crazy kid who had jumped into the castle lay on his side with the wood blocks all over him. He was laughing so hard he had the hiccups.

"Wow! That was _awesome_!" he said, breathless. He sat up and looked at the two of them. "You built that?" he asked

John nodded.

"That was the bestcastle I've ever seen!"

Rodney looked proud for a moment -- before he scowled at the new kid.

"Why did you wreck it, then?"

"You don't think I would knock down just any castle, do you?"

John thought he had a point. If you were going to knock down a castle, it should be one that was worth the effort. Rodney was doing that face-scrunch thing again, though, so John didn't think he agreed.

"Let's build it again," he suggested.

"Yeah, I'll help," said the new kid. He stood up and the blocks fell around him. He was very tall. And he had funny hair.

"I don't want you to help," said Rodney. "You'll just knock it down again when we're done."

The kid scratched his head. "Isn't that the point?"

Rodney stared at him for a moment.

"Um," said John. He wasn't sure how to warn the new kid without sounding stupid. Rodney was very little on the outside.

The yelling started, and it went on and on and on... John covered his ears and sat down, resigned.

Big feet planted themselves right behind Rodney, and in a moment, the yelling ended in a yelp as Rodney's feet left the ground.

"Shush, you horrible child! You will be the death of me! I thought you were bad before? Ha!"

Rodney, getting over his shock, started to howl. He kicked his feet fiercely in the air in an effort to get loose.

"Rodney! You're awfully far up..." John cautioned. Rodney squinted down and stilled immediately. The grown-up carried him away and put him down in front of the craft table. A handful of red and yellow crayons was shoved in front of him. Rodney, for once, was too startled to protest.

John found himself picked up bodily as well. He was swung through the air (whee!!) and plopped down in front of the same table. A moment later, the new kid was forced to join them, too.

"Here. Now you children sit and color. Quietly!"

John stared at the retreating grown-up, then at his companions. He picked up a red crayon. "I can draw spaceships," he announced.

Rodney just pouted.

"I wanna draw the cannons on the spaceships!" said the new kid, excited.

Rodney pouted some more.

"What do you wanna draw, Rodney?" John said, bumping his shoulder with his own.

"I don't want to draw anything."

"You can draw a castle," said the new kid. "I promise not to knock it down this time."

Rodney grumbled, but finally he picked out a yellow crayon just the length of his hand and grabbed a big sheet of paper. "It'll have windows," he said. "And little spikes around them so the bad guys don't get in. And it'll be really, really,... really tall. And big. And pretty." He frowned for a moment. "And we can put the spaceships on the top floor. So they can take off whenever they want."

"We make a good team," said the new kid.

John grinned.

  
END Part 2.


	3. No Girls Allowed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Girls aren't allowed!  Aren't they...?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Orig. Posted 2007.02.11
> 
> Alternative Links:  
> <http://kuonji14.livejournal.com/6028.html>

The Girl walked right up to their craft table and sat down across from them.

"I wish to play with you," she announced.

John stared, his eyes big and round. Ronon lifted his eyebrows. Rodney glared.

"You can't," he said.

She put her hands on her hips. "Why not?"

"You're a _girl_!"

"So?"

Rodney looked to John for help.

John squirmed, looking uncomfortable. "We don't play with girls," he said. He didn't sound very sure.

Rodney grabbed a piece of paper and a crayon. After a few seconds, he put the piece of paper in front of The Girl. "There, see?" he said.

NO GIRLS ALLOWED, he'd written.

The Girl frowned at the piece of paper. But she couldn't do anything. It was written down, so it was a rule now. She looked up.

"Fine, then I'll be a boy, too."

Rodney stared. "You can't just decide to be a boy," he grumbled.

"Why not?"

"That's not allowed."

"Who made that rule?"

"It's a law of science," Rodney replied promptly. The only thing more iron-clad than a _rule_ was a _law of science_.

The Girl pouted. "I'm going to talk to Dr. Weir," she said, before stomping off.

"Well, we got rid of her," Rodney said, pleased.

John looked pained. "But she's going to talk to Dr. Weir," he whined. "She's going to get us in trouble."

"Don't be stupid. She won't really..." Ronon nudged him and pointed. "What?"

They all three stared in quiet awe as The Girl marched right up to Dr. Weir and pulled on her shirt-hem. Dr. Weir turned, saw her, and knelt down to talk to her.

"She's brave," Ronon said. "I like her." John and Rodney both stared.

"Traitor," Rodney hissed.

They watched as The Girl was smiled at, patted on the head, and _given a sandwich cookie_ before being sent back, completely unharmed.

"Dr. Weir says--" She paused to wipe off the crumbs and leftover bits of cream from her mouth. "Dr. Weir says that being a girl is _better_ than being a boy."

"No way," John said, shocked.

"Dr. Weir says that girls heal people and conduct trade and go to the stars. And she says that girls are great warriors, too."

"You're lying," Ronon said, puffing up.

The Girl's face darkened. "You wish to fight?"

"Yeah!"

She decked Ronon with a single punch.

Rodney stared, seriously impressed. John stared, too. His face got petulant.

"I want to be a girl, too," he said.

"You can't," The Girl protested immediately. " _I'm_ the girl. You can't be a girl, too."

"Why can't we both be girls?"

"I want to be a girl, too," Ronon put in, getting back up.

"Why can't we all be girls?" John amended.

Rodney raised his hand. "I don't want to be a girl," he said.

"Why can't--" John started.

"You can't be one, anyway," The Girl cut in, before he could finish this time.

"Why not?"

"Because!"

"Because what?"

She glowered. "Because I can beat you up."

"That's not fair!"

"She _can_ beat you up," Rodney pointed out.

Ronon frowned. "He's right."

John pouted. But he couldn't seem to find an argument around that. "Oh, all right."

The Girl beamed.

  
END Part 3.


	4. Hidden Treasure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rodney's keeping a secret, and his 'freinds' want to find out what it is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Orig. Posted 2007.02.12
> 
> Alternative Links:  
> <http://kuonji14.livejournal.com/6191.html>

There was something under Rodney's pillow. John wanted to know what it was, but Rodney wouldn't tell him.

"Please?" he begged. It must be something really cool, if Rodney wouldn't even show _him_.

"No!" Rodney sat down on top of his pillow.

"C'mon, Rodney," John wheedled some more.

"No!"

Today, though, John had help.

Rodney yelped as Ronon pushed him off from behind. He turned around and dove for something white just as Ronon kicked the pillow to the side and grabbed it himself.

There was a tearing sound.

Then Rodney was lying on the floor, with half a piece of paper in his hands.

Rodney stared from his own hands to Ronon's, where the other half was. His face crumpled.

John jumped back. Uh-oh. "Dr. Kate!" he yelled, just before the first screams started. "Dr. Kaaaaaate~~~!"

Ronon looked a little panicked. He dropped his half of Rodney's treasure and took up the call as well. Their shouting and Rodney's caterwauling brought the grown-up running.

"What? What's wrong?"

John pointed. "Rodney's crying again."

"Am not!" Rodney sobbed. He had stopped waving his arms in the air now and was just laying on his back, sniffling, clearly exhausted.

"What happened?" Teyla, still rubbing her eyes, came from the direction of the girls side of the room.

"They took my piece of paper, and they _tore_ it!" Rodney shouted, sitting up to glare death at them all.

Kids were waking up all over the room now. Some started to cry. Teyla frowned at the commotion. She crossed her arms and glared at John and Ronon. "What did you do this time?"

"It's Rodney's fault," John whined. "He wouldn't let me see it."

Ronon shifted from one foot to the other. "I was just helping," he mumbled.

Dr. Kate, who had been talking to Rodney quietly behind them, now came over with Rodney carried in her left arm. She settled Rodney down on the ground and picked up the half-piece of paper that Ronon had dropped. "Is this it, Rodney?" she asked

Rodney nodded. But he still looked determined to stay mad. "I don't want it anymore. It's _broken_!"

"Oh, now, that's not true. You'd be surprised what magic tape can do."

Rodney's mouth dropped open at that, but it was John who spoke first: " _Magic_ tape?"

"All of you be good, and I'll go get it."

They stared in wonder as she brought back a clear roll of sticky tape. After Rodney reluctantly released his half of the paper to her, she pieced them together and tore off a piece of tape with the most tantalizing sound they had ever heard: _zrrrrr-chk!_

"Wait, I want to do it," Rodney said in a rush, reaching out for it. She handed the curly bit of magic tape to him, and Rodney very, very carefully fitted it right across the center of the tear. Rodney picked up one corner of the paper, and the two halves came up together, stuck together in the middle.

"I want to do it, too!" John shouted. Ronon and Teyla started clamoring for a turn, too.

Rodney glared around at them. Finally, he seemed to give in. He sighed loudly and put the paper back down on the floor. Dr. Kate gave them each a piece of tape. They waited their turns impatiently but were careful to put the tape down exactly where Rodney told them to.

"Wow." It was _perfect_ again!

"See? All better now," said Dr. Kate. Rodney nodded. He smiled just a little. She tousled his hair and left.

"What is it?" Ronon said.

"It's us!" Rodney replied. He turned the paper to the front and slapped his hands down on either side of it, showing it off. John didn't remind him that he'd been hiding it earlier.

It was a picture of John (hair sticking up and red eyes), Ronon (hair in big fat braids and red eyes), Teyla (long straight hair and red eyes), and Rodney (short hair and yellow eyes). They were holding hands, and above them, Rodney had written: "FRIENDS"

"Ohhh!" Teyla said, admiringly.

"Hey, nice," Ronon said.

John frowned. "You spelled freind wrong," he said.

Rodney glared. "No, I didn't. _You_ spelled it wrong."

"Did not."

"Did too!"

"You can't write freind and put the word 'end' in it," John exclaimed. It made him feel all fluttery just to think about it.

"Oh." Rodney's eyes were very wide.

"Let us change it," Teyla said.

"But, but, it's _wrong_ ," Rodney protested, even as Ronon ran off to get a pencil. He scowled and complained some more, but finally, he snatched the pencil and carefully erased the 'ie' in 'friend', replacing it with 'ei' in his neat, blocky print. "There, happy?" he said.

"Wait." John took the pencil and lay down on his belly with the piece of paper in front of him. He scrawled another word underneath. "Okay," he said, pleased.

"I want to write something, too," Teyla said, taking the pencil. She bit her lip in concentration as she looped an extra word in front.

"That's not fair," Ronon grumped. "What will I write?" He took the pencil anyway and stared at the paper for a long time before his face lit up. He got down and drew three big exclamation points at the end.

They all looked at it. "Coooool," they said. There just wasn't anything else left to say.

  
BEST FREINDS   
          FOREVER !!!

  
END Part 4.


	5. Cookie Crumbles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SGA-1 loves cookies! (and Dr. Weir)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Orig. Posted 2007.02.28
> 
> Alternative Links:  
> <http://kuonji14.livejournal.com/6642.html>

THINGS WE LOVE  
1\. NAP TIME  
2\. SPACESHIPS  
3\. COOKIES  
4\. DR WEIR  
5\. COOKIES!  
            rodNEy  
            john  
            rOnOn  
            TEYLA

Elizabeth had to control her smile before meeting Teyla's bright, active eyes. "Did you write this?" she asked. The curvy capitals made that obvious, but she did want to know how much an accomplice versus how much of a mastermind Teyla had been.

Teyla sighed theatrically. "They made me," she whined. But her eyes darted behind Elizabeth's back.

Elizabeth's lips twitched. "Okay," she said, folding the 'proclamation' in half and tucking it under her arm. "First of all, if you want to pretend disinterest in the goods, you can't be staring at them."

Teyla's eyes snapped back from the table of snacks Elizabeth was leaning against. Her mouth formed an 'O' of chagrine.

"Second of all," Elizabeth continued, crouching down to whisper conspiratorily in Teyla's ear, "Let's talk about what your cut of the cookies should be, for being the one to come over here."

Elizabeth looked across the room, at the huddle of whispering boys at the craft table. One of them seemed to notice her watching, and all three got very busy with their yarn-decorated greeting cards.

Elizabeth returned her gaze to the small, dew-eyed girl in front of her. She winked.

Teyla's eyebrows arched in a softer, unformed version of that sly, crafty look that they all knew.

It was pretty clear: They would all be back soon enough.

Atlantis had better be prepared.

  
END Part 5.


	6. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been a rough few weeks...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Orig. Posted 2007.03.06
> 
> Alternative Links:  
> <http://kuonji14.livejournal.com/6710.html>

Dr. Elizabeth Weir slumped forward in her deskchair, massaging her temples. There was a knock, and the door hissed open. She waved a 'hi' without even looking up. "How much longer?" was all she asked.

"Until they revert to normal, or until our heads explode?" came the wry answer.

Elizabeth sat up. "Sorry, I was expecting Dr. Beckett."

Kate Heightmeyer collapsed into a chair herself, rolling her neck back to look at the ceiling and stretch out her back. "He'll be along shortly. He thought I should be here, too."

"Who's watching the... children, then?"

"Dr. Zelenka has it covered."

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow. "And by 'have it covered', you mean...?"

Kate giggled somewhat drunkenly at the ceiling. "The usual. Barely controlled chaos."

"Heaven forbid!" Both women turned at the new voice. Carson wiped his hand across his eyes as he dropped into a chair as well. "How are things downstairs?"

Kate had just come back from her shift. "Dr. Brown and Dr. Parrish had a bit of a tussle over Dr. Biro's stethoscope, but otherwise nothing serious. Of course, 'John' and the rest are just as always."

Elizabeth rolled her eyes. It didn't take much to imagine what sort of shenanigans Kate had just come from breaking up. On reflection, only SGA-1 could have possibly managed to contract a temporary age-reversal virus and pass it to a quarter of the base. It was a good thing most of the medical staff remained uninfected.

"Carson," Elizabeth said, getting down to business. "What can you tell us?"

He offered a weary but radiant smile as he opened his laptop. He turned it to show them what looked like a lego kit. She blinked, and it resolved itself into a bar graph. She'd obviously been with the 'kids' for too long.

"As we hoped, it's definitely temporary. Cells are showing accelerated growth, and the children seem to be experiencing varying states of tiredness as they essentially 'grow' back into themselves. At the current rate, they'll be back in a matter of days. Dr. Heightmeyer?"

"Right, my results coincide. We've noticed exponentially increasing cognitive ability. What's more telling, perhaps, is that they are all without exception regaining their memories from before." She paused to quirk a smile. "Regarding their emotional states, I'm afraid to say that a select few aren't reverting quite as the others are. But those subjects' baseline levels were skewed to begin with."

Elizabeth should probably admonish Kate for the lack of professionalism. Indeed, she most certainly would have if she weren't trying so hard to keep from laughing outright.

"Well, good to know they're all healthy and on the road to return. Any ideas as to why the rest of us are immune?" Elizabeth asked Carson.

"That, I haven't figured out yet. I suspect the virus had a very specific radius to work. Otherwise, it wouldn't have been useful as an experimentation tool."

"True." The information in the database had had only vague notes on the 'virus', but Elizabeth had been able to make out enough to theorize that it had been developed to use not as a weapon, as she had feared, but for studying child physiology and psychology. It had been abandoned because of the difficulty of containing it -- as they had learned first-hand.

"It's really too bad we can't keep it," mused Kate. "It's a remarkably humane way to run experiments on children. They could get full cognitive adult consent beforehand, and return the subjects perfectly intact."

"It won't... ah, overshoot, will it?" Elizabeth asked, the horrible thought occurring to her.

"Oh, no," Carson assured her. "It's very interesting. There seems to be marker cells within each of the organs and tissue of--"

Elizabeth waved her arms, too exhausted for finesse. "It's okay Carson. I'm sorry, but... that's all I needed to know."

Carson chuckled. "It has been a rough few weeks, hasn't it?"

"Tell me about it," Kate groaned.

"Really?" Elizabeth asked. "I'd have thought you would have been more interested."

"I took one Child Psychology course as an elective." She made a face. "It really wasn't my thing."

"That's why I'm a geneticist." Carson agreed.

"That's why I have dogs!"

__

"Doctors!"

They all winced and tapped the volume of their radios, as Zelenka's fluid diatribe about 'abandoning' him streamed through them in Ancient hi-def.

"I think it's time to return to support?" she said. They groaned and rose from their respective sprawls to make their way to the set of rooms they had designated as the nursery area.

When they got there, they were greeted by a most unexpected sight.

Rodney was curled up in his lap. Ronon was sprawled across one knee. Teyla leaned in sleepy bliss against his side, and John's head was pillowed on his ankle. SGA-1 formed one big puppy pile -- with Zelenka seething in the middle of it.

"Get me out of this. Now," he said through grit teeth. Despite his vicious irritation, he kept his voice low in front of the sleeping (temporary) children.

Elizabeth couldn't resist. After all, it would only be a few more days before the chance to see something like this would disappear forever.

"Anyone have a camera?"

SNAP!  


  
END.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you enjoyed this story, you might try these:  
>      [Phone Call Home](http://community.livejournal.com/sga_flashfic/438933.html) (Stargate Atlantis), by kuonji  
>      [Kindergarten](http://nakedwesley.livejournal.com/58265.html) (Stargate Atlantis), by nakedwesley  
>      [What Happens in the Clubhouse](http://skoosiepants.livejournal.com/117670.html) (Stargate Atlantis), by skoosiepants  
>      [Kids](http://soraya2004.livejournal.com/10135.html) (Stargate Atlantis), by Soraya  
> 


End file.
